Six Key Elements in Supporting a Loved One Overcome Pornography Addiction

Incredible women can feel alone as they support their loved one. We, at Addo, can offer guidance, support and community.



ELEMENT #1: PORNOGRAPHY EXPOSURE 

Whether you are a wife, mother, sister, or friend, each of you play a role in helping the person you care about. You are critical to his recovery process. We want you to understand the behavioral environments of his addiction. Studies have shown sexual habits are beginning at younger ages. Consequently, the younger the age an addiction starts, the more rooted it becomes by adulthood. 

"In my experience, most cases of addiction to pornography actually started between ages 10 and 14. The problem is that addiction starts with exposure and children are exposed to pornography in a variety of settings. At a friends house, an older brothers magazine, parents DVD, R-rated movies, Victoria's Secret catalogues, email pop-ups - they all arouse curiosity connected to arousal. It is becoming easier and easier for children to come across pornography in their everyday lives." - DR. KEVIN SKINNER (The Six Key Elements that Form a Sex/Porn Addiction)

Addictions start with exposure, no matter the age. Every day we are exposed to sexual images and explicit innuendos. As adults, we may or may not even realize it. Our children are no different, especially our teenagers.

Many adults can exhibit mental restraint to block these images and innuendos out. Yet it isn’t as easy for many to turn away from the source. It seems as though many adults are becoming numb to this exposure. Viewing sexual media appears to have become an acceptable practice by society's standards. Like it or not, it seems to be flowing into our lives, phones, homes, and communities. If left unchecked, unintentional exposure can lead to intentional exposure. Without proper intervention, deliberate exposure can lead to an addiction.

ELEMENT #2: INFLUENTIAL PEOPLE 

Why does a child or an adult develop a pornography addiction? A parent's style of parenting can play a significant part in the development of an addiction. On the flip side, it can play a role in a child’s recovery too. A parent’s loving involvement helps a child to develop an ability to cope and process the world around him. A sister’s interactions can also help her sibling in his recovery process. Likewise, how engaged a wife is in her relationship with her spouse, can play a significant part as well. This shows women in supporting roles are vital to influencing change. 

As you can see, there are many roles played by women in a man's life. How you engage in a child or man's life has a positive or negative influence on him. Similarly, your relationship will have an impact on his pornography addiction and recovery. 

1. A wife

2. A Mother

3. A Sister

4. A Friend

Sexual and pornography addictions can create trauma for all those involved. This hurt includes those who are the closest to the addict. Generally speaking, as part of the addiction, he will likely push you away. It is important to remember this isn't about you.

ELEMENT #3: PULLING AWAY

For some individuals, interacting with others can create social anxiety. As a result, a lack of physical interaction could drive a person to pornography as a way to avoid feeling lonely. The immense feeling of being alone is one of the main reasons why adults view pornography. Likewise, both situations can make an individual feel nervous or inadequate. Pornography brings a false sense of relief. Pornography can create a phony escape from the stress of wanting a connection. This seems to be especially true for individuals who feel hopeless about finding a relationship. 

The need and desire to isolate is one of the ugliest and hardest parts of addiction. As a woman, your influence can help him change his feelings of hopelessness, anger, and anxiety. Additionally, your goal should be to help him stay connected with others close to him. Your role can help encourage and strengthen him to build his self-efficacy. As a result, he will gain the confidence to sort through his feelings of loneliness and fear. This will be a commanding victory and step forward in his recovery process.

ELEMENT #4: MODEL OF UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

Every child and adult needs an example of a healthy relationship in their life. If not, it can be hard for individuals to form healthy relationships of their own. This process is especially true for those who become addicted to pornography. 

As explained before, pornography provides its viewers with a false sense of reality. Pornography does not offer a positive example of how to treat a woman. It perverts and forms an unrealistic reality for the addicted person producing an unhealthy state of mind. A mind begins to be controlled by the emotional, physical, and intellectual bias of pornography noot by what is real or healthy. 

An overly sexualized home exposes children to sexual behaviors they do not comprehend. Likewise, it can provide similar negative allusions for men. As a mother or wife, you have the power to take control of your home. Your goal should be to have a safe, welcoming home environment.

ELEMENT # 5: NEGATIVE SOCIAL SYSTEM

Sex is everywhere in our society today. It has become our responsibility to regulate the media's influence in our homes. As a result of the constant inundation, it seems to have become a mother and wife's full-time job to keep their families safe.

Sexual expression has become the center of today's advertisements. Many advertisements are targeting teenagers and even younger demographics. Sex sells in our society, and with the generated amount of money each year from ads, there are no signs of it stopping. 

For example, television continues to increase sexual content year after year. While society ignored the problem, it seems to have perpetuated it. As a result, pornography and sex addiction rates continue to reach new heights each year. Cultural norms teach society what behaviors are appropriate, regardless of the consequences. Right now, pornography is eroding our society. Starting in your home, you can take a drastic stand against it.

ELEMENT #6: EARLY SEXUAL OR PORNOGRAPHY EXPERIENCE

How does an addicted person respond to his accountability for bad behavior? They minimize it. Most individuals with an addiction to pornography deceive themselves. They talk themselves into thinking the problem is not bad. Or worse, they trick those around them into thinking everything is okay. 

The effects of early sexual experiences and exposure to pornography are staggering. In recent studies, evidence has shown it can alter a child's genes. Looking at pornography provides instant gratification, yet it doesn't meet their sexual desires. Long-term results show pornography causes addicts to begin to exhibit more radical behaviors over time. All of this, after what might have started simply because of curiosity or an unfulfilled need. 

As a woman, adjusting your focus to helping your loved one recognize his radical thoughts or behaviors is essential. Addo Recovery encourages you to help him decide to get help through a recovery program. Recovery starts with honesty. When he can evaluate and understand his actions, it can provide him with the courage to begin a path to healing. Your role as a woman in the recovery process is an integral part of his success. 

Pornography is only one symptom of much deeper rooted sexual issues for men and women. It is natural for him to minimize his addiction or the recovery process. Addressing the root of the problem leads to a successful recovery. A licensed therapist can help him work through issues that he may not realize exist.

Regardless of your role as a wife, mom, sister or friend, the resounding message we have for you is you are important. You do not have to fight this battle alone. There is hope. There is support available to you through the process of healing and recovery. We are here to help you. You have a place to turn to. We are eager to hear from you. AddoRecovery.com