Betrayal Trauma Trigger Management: Soothing with Your Senses

KayLee Dunn, ACSW • Jul 19, 2018

HEALTHY VS UNHEALTHY TACTICS

When you are in crisis, you are so overwhelmed that you're rarely able to listen to instincts and intuition. In crisis, you will feel even more confused, paralyzed, and sometimes at higher risk of getting hurt.

Since regaining intuition is so important, we will discuss a few ways to help you get to a calm and peaceful space where you can listen to your inner voice.

Below are some examples of common healthy and unhealthy tactics for self-soothing:

Healthy Self-Soothing Tactics:


  • Deep breathing
  • Exercise
  • Reading a good book
  • Prayer and meditation
  • Scheduling time alone to meditate
  • Laughing

Unhealthy Tactics to Self-Soothe:

  • Absorbing yourself in problems trying to solve them
  • Overworking yourself Being cynical toward others
  • Unhealthy eating: binging/ starvation
  • Use of alcohol or other substances
  • Excessive or lack of sleep

Observing this list, how many of the unhealthy self-soothing tactics do you find yourself implementing when confronted with a tough situation? How often do you implement the healthy self-soothing tactics? It is very common for women experiencing Betrayal Trauma to revert to unhealthy practices in an effort reestablish peace in their own lives. During difficult times it is critical to have healthy strategies to help you find inner peace and confidence. This store of inner peace and confidence will help you through future challenges.

THE POWER OF YOUR SENSES

A QUICK SELF-SOOTHING EXERCISE OFFERED BY BLOOMFORWOMEN.COM


Your senses consist of smell, touch, taste, sight, and sound. Two additional senses that we often forget are kinesthetic and internal senses. Kinesthetic sense is the way your body engages in the outside world. For example: throwing a baseball, dancing, moving, and jumping. Kinesthetic sense occurs when your physical body is engaged. Internal sense involves acuity or keenness to your experience within our bodies. For instance, when you feel anxious, your internal sense responds with a wrenching stomach, increased heart rate and tightening of the lungs.

Your senses are powerful and provide an extremely effective way to take control over your own emotional state. When your senses are engaged in a healthy manner, your attention is taken o the past and future, allowing you to focus on yourself and that present moment. Experiencing life in the present is the key to a calmer self.

We have created a list of items to engage your senses and help focus and calm your mind. Pausing to really engage and hone into your senses will calm your spirit, help you look outside yourself and allow you to focus on the present.

The examples are as follows:

Smell


  • Fresh Air Flowers
  • A favorite lotion Baking
Touch

  • Soft blanket
  • A pet
  • Hug a friend
  • Grass

Internal
  • Envision a peaceful scene
  • Take deep breaths
  • Ponder and meditate
  • Be still
Taste

  • Dark chocolate
  • Fresh fruit
  • Gum
  • A favorite hard candy
Sound


  • A favorite song
  • Birds chirping
  • Beach waves
  • Family laughing

Sight

  • Photos
  • Artwork
  • Heirlooms
  • Nature


    YOUR SELF CALMING KIT


    When our brain is hi-jacked we react on intense emotions and often behave in ways we regret later on. In order to calm or regulate our mind and body, we need to self-soothe.

    Unfortunately, many don’t know how to self-soothe and create unhealthy soothing habits.

    As we mentioned earlier, here are a few examples of healthy and unhealthy soothing habits:

    Healthy Self-Soothing


    • Deep Breathing
    • Plan of Peace
    • Exercise
    • Reading a Good Book
    • Prayer and Meditation
    • Scheduling Time Alone to Meditate

    Unhealthy Efforts to Self-Soothe


    • Focus on Problem—Anxiety Rules
    • Unhealthy Eating—Binging, Starvation • Use of Alcohol or Other Substances
    • Excessive or Under Sleeping
    • Being Cynical Towards Others
    • Overworking Yourself

    Take Control Using Your Senses

    A great way to take control of your emotional state is to engage your kinesthetic and internal senses. Kinesthetic sense is the way our body engages in the outside world. Our internal sense involves acuity to our experience within.

    Here are a few sense engagement ideas that will slow down your mind:

    Smell


    • Fresh Air
    • Flowers
    • A Favorite Lotion

    Taste


    • Dark Chocolate
    • Fresh Fruit
    • Gum
    • A Favorite Hard Candy

    Sight


    • Photos
    • Artwork
    • Nature
    • Heirlooms

    Touch


    • Soft Blanket
    • A Pet
    • Hug a Friend
    • Grass

    Sound


    • Favorite Song
    • Birds Chirping
    • Beach Waves
    • Family Laughing

    Kinesthetic


    • Running
    • Walking
    • Crafting
    • Cooking

    Internal


    • Envision a Peaceful Scene
    • Take Deep Breaths
    • Ponder and Meditate
    • Being Still

    Create Your Calming Kit

    We encourage you to prepare soothing exercises that are appealing to you by creating a calming kit.

    This assignment will assist you in creating a self-calming kit depending on your unique likes and comfort level.


    Instructions

    Step 1

    Make a list of items you enjoy from each of the seven senses.


    Here are some examples to help you begin thinking about what you enjoy:

    Smell


    • A Favorite Lotion or Perfume
    • A Nostalgic Smell
    • Essential Oils

    Taste


    • Dark Chocolate
    • Honey Sticks
    • Gum

    Sight


    • Photos of Family
    • Post cards of places you have been or want to go
    • Inspiring Quotes

    Touch


    • Soft Blanket
    • Smooth Stone

    Sound


    • Mix CD of Inspiriting Music
    • CD of Nature Sounds
    • Audio Recording of Positive Self- Talk

    Kinesthetic


    • Package of Play-Dough or Clay
    • Pen and Paper for Doodling
    • Oils, Makers, Paints

    Internal


    • Crisis Journal
    • Religious Readings
    • Quotes

    Step 2

    Create Your List

    Step 3

    Collect One or Two Items for Each Category

    Step 4

    Place items into an accessible, appropriately sized box (shoe box, tote, bag, etc.)

    Step 5

    Go to your kit when in time of crisis.

    Using this self-soothing kit or engaging in any of these self-soothing exercises regularly will help you to

    center yourself. Engaging in mind- fulness and meditation exercises can also help you go to a place where you can listen to your intuition.





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