Are you a mom living with betrayal trauma?

Why do women and mothers wait so long before starting the healing process?

First, let's define betrayal trauma. Thrive Relational Recovery in Colorado defines betrayal trauma like this:

"Trust is something you didn't question with your spouse. After all the time you've spent together developing trust, your bond felt solid. Likewise, that bond has provided you with safety and security for a while now. 

Then, the unthinkable happened. Now, you're dealing with grief and a sense of betrayal, unlike anything you have ever felt before. Emotions like anger, sadness, and fear are now rushing through you as if a dam within just broke. 

It feels traumatic because you're experiencing the symptoms of trauma. After all, betrayal is emotional trauma. While your physical life may not be a stake, it may feel like the well-being of your mental state is long gone."

What are the effects of not healing?

During the first few weeks or months of your healing process, you'll learn how interconnected your body is to the betrayal trauma. Unresolved betrayal trauma can leave you with both long-term physical and emotional problems. Above all, you'll learn why it is so vital for you to heal for yourself.

In Addo Recovery's study of 400 women, nearly 50% of the women seen professionally were diagnosed with depression. Furthermore, almost 38% had anxiety. Below are some of the most common physical, mental, and emotional side effects of betrayal trauma for women.

1. "Frozen" or lack of knowledge on how to move on
2. Struggle to fall asleep
3. A belief you'll never love again
4. Feel anxious and depressed
5. Desire to be alone all the time 
6. You have suicidal thoughts
7. Flashbacks or memory triggers of your relationship
8. Confused or "Foggy" thought process
9. Struggling to become engaged 
10. You don't feel like you're good enough parent
11. Feeling tired or lack of energy
12. Weight gain or loss
13. Altered mood: irritability, aggression, risky or destructive behaviors
14. Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS)
15. Headaches, heartburn, etc. 
16. Feeling shameful or embarrassed 
17. Avoidant, reserved, or shutdown
18. Denial, false sense of reality

Are you experiencing any of these symptoms as a result of your betrayal trauma? There are many women, specifically mothers, who are. The good news is there are options and ways to get your health back.